Friday, October 29, 2010

My Resume

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job..
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4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but
that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

(Courtesy of forwarded mail from Leo Nathan)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

感恩的故事 (A Story About Gratefulness)

一名成績優秀的青年去申請一個大公司的經理職位。
One academically excellent young man went to apply for a managerial post in a big company.

他通過了第一級的面試,董事長做最後的面試,做最後的決定。
He passed the first interview. The managing director (MD) conducted the last interview to make a final choice.

董事長從該青年的履歷上發現,該青年成績一貫優秀,從中學到研究生從來沒有間斷過。
The MD discovered from the CV that the youth's academic results had been superb throughout his secondary school days until postgraduate research studies.
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董事長問,你在學校裏拿到獎學金嗎?該青年回答,沒有。
The MD asked, "Did you obtain any scholarship in schools?" The youth replied none.

董事長問,是你的父親為您付學費嗎?該青年回答,我父親在我一歲時就去世了,是我的母親給我付的學費。
The MD asked, "Is it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees."

董事長問,那你的母親是在那家公司高就?該青年回答,我的母親是給人洗衣服的。董事長要求該青年把手伸給他,該青年把一雙潔白的手伸給董事長。
The MD asked, "Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked in the laundry as a clothes-cleaner". The MD requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of smooth shinning hands to the MD.

董事長問,你幫你母親洗過衣服嗎?該青年回答,從來沒有,我媽總是要我多讀書,再說,母親洗衣服比我快得多。
The MD asked, " Did you ever help your mother wash clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never. My mother always wanted me to study more. Besides, she can wash clothes faster than me."

董事長說,我有個要求,你今天回家,給你母親洗一次雙手,明天上午你再來見我。
The MD said, "I have a request for you. When you go home today, go and clean your mother's hands for once and come back to see me tomorrow morning."

該青年覺得自己成功的可能很大,回到家後,高高興興地要給母親洗手,母親受寵若驚地把手伸給孩子。
The youth felt that his chance of securing the job was high. When he went home, he happily wanted to clean his mother's hands. His mother felt strange but nonethless obliged happily to his son's request.

該青年給母親洗著手,漸漸地,眼淚掉下來了,因為他第一次發現,他母親的雙手都是老繭,有個傷口在碰到水時還疼得發抖。
As the youth started cleaning his mother's hands, his tears dropped as he noticed for the first time that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and bruised that she would shivered in pain when the hands were in touch with water.
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青年第一次體會到,母親就是每天用這雙有傷口的手洗衣服為他付學費,母親的這雙手就是他今天畢業的代價。
The youth realized for the first time that his mother used these bruised hands everday to wash clothes to pay for his study. The hands of the mother were the price for his graduation today.
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該青年給母親洗完手後,一聲不響地把母親剩下要洗的衣服都洗了。
After cleaning his mother's hands, the youth quietly cleaned all the remaining clothes for his mother.

當天晚上,母親和孩子聊了很久很久。
That night, mother and son chatted for a long time.

第二天早上,該青年去見董事長。
Next morning, the youth went to see the MD.

董事長望著該青年紅腫的眼睛,問到,可以告訴我你昨天回家做了些什麼嗎?
The MD looked at the red-eyed youth and asked, "Can you tell you what have you done at home last night?"

該青年回答說,我給母親洗完手之後,我幫母親把剩下的衣服都洗了。
The youth answered, "After I cleaned my mother's hands, I helped her to finish cleaning the rest of clothes she was supposed to clean.'

董事長說,請你告訴我你的感受。
The MD asked, " Will you tell me what is your feeling?"

該青年說,第一,我懂得了感恩,沒有我母親,我不可能有今天。第二,我懂得了要去和母親一起勞動,才會知道母親的辛苦。第三,我懂得了家庭親情的可貴。
The youth answered, "First of all, I understood gratefulness. Without my mother, I would not have become what I am today. Secondly, I understood to labour together with my mother in order to realize the difficulty of my mother. Thirdly, I understood the virtue of family relationship."

董事長說,我就是要錄取一個會感恩,會體會別人辛苦,不是把金錢當作人生第一目標的人來當經理。你被錄取了。
The MD said, " I am looking for a manager who understands gratefulness, cares about the difficulties faced by others and who does not aim to make money as his first goal in life. You are hired."
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這位青年後來果真工作努力,深得職工擁護,員工也都努力工作,整個公司業績大幅成長。
Later on, this youth worked very hard and earned the respect of his subordinates. Every employee of the company worked equally hard to enhance tremendous growth in the company's business.

假如一位孩子從小嬌生慣養,習慣了被人圍著寵著,什麼都是“我”第一,父母的辛苦都不知道,上班後,以為同事都應該聽他的,當了經理後,不知道員工的辛苦,還要怨天尤人。這樣的人,會有好的學校成績,會有得意風光的一時,但社會上的這類人,都不能成大事,都不會感覺到幸福,都要跌跟鬥,那父母是愛孩子呢還是害孩子呢?
If a child is pampered and protected from young and is egoistic all along, not understanding the diffulties of the parents. And when he/shes goes to work, he/she would expect colleagues to listen to him/her. If he/she becomes a manager, he/she would not appreciate the difficulties of the co-workers and indulge in blaming only. Such a person despite having excellent academic results and perhaps also enjoying glorious time for a while can be useful to the society at large? Such is the love or spoiling for the kid?
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你可以讓你的孩子住大房子,吃大餐,學鋼琴,看大屏電視,但你在割草時,也要讓你的孩子在大太陽下拔拔野草,你在吃飯後,也要讓你的孩子洗洗碗,不是你沒有錢雇人,而是你真心愛孩子。你要讓孩子知道,即使父母掙不少錢,但早早的白髮,和那位洗衣服的母親沒有本質的差別。但更重要的是,要讓你的孩子學會感恩。
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You can let your children live in a big house, take a good meal, learn to play piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are doing gardening, do let your children to help cut some grasses. After meal your should let them wash their own plates. It is not because you cannot afford to hire maids to do the domestic chores, it is really the true sense of love for the children. You must let them understand that even though parents have earned good enough money, the significance of their growing grey hairs bears little difference from the above clothes-cleaning mother. The most important thing of all, let your children learn to be grateful.
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(Courtesy of forwarded mail from Cheong Siew Chyuan. English translation touched up by the Blogger)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Wise Old Man

(Courtesy of f0rwarded mail from Pastor David Chen)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

10 Commandments for Those Over 40 Years Old

Thursday, October 21, 2010

大陆人看台湾

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